That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
