So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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