after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
