oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
