You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
