I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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