I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
