If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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