speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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