Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
