I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
