I don't remember. Are we still dating?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
