I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I see more hoeing in ur future
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
