dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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