Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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