I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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