She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
