I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
