Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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