She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
