I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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