It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
