we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
