i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
