Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
