Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
