I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
