the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
