And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So apparently I’m into choking now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
