do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have post one night stand depression
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
