I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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