I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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