so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dear god my vagina.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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