there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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