Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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