Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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