Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just found puke in my bra..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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