But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
