Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
