how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
