I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
