why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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