the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
