sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
