it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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