ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
