Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
being pregnant is like rehab
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He shit in the fireplace
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
