kristin has been a bad kristin
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it's like iHOP with fire
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
