great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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