Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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