I need help removing her.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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