Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
